C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack DECLASSIFIED

After my top-secret mission with the C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack, I attempted more test flights. (They all ended painfully.)

But since enrolling in flight school, I'm slowly learning the ABCs of jetpack aviation.

I'm also learning how the classified jetpack was constructed, and gained security clearance to show this video of the C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack...DECLASSIFIED!

Thanks for flying!

C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack

Woomi and I were fighting over the extra-buttery popcorn when the doorbell rang.

On my doorstep, a familiar briefcase:

Inside, baby carrots:

Like most people who crochet, I double as an international spy.

And this top secret letter surely held a special assignment for Woo... Agent Woo.

The following is a transcript of this letter, for your eyes only:

ATTN: AGENT WOO

I'm OOW (Agent Double-O Double-U), and your mission is to test the energy-potential of beta-carotene for above-ground transportation.

Agent Woo, please follow these step-by-step instructions:

Step One: Extract the contents from the briefcase.

Step Two: Equip yourself with the Agency's latest prototype in renewable-energy stealth-wear: The C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack.

The Crocheted Aerodynamic Renewable Resource Offsite Transport Jetpack is powered by beta-carotene. A handful of carrots can provide up to one hour of air travel.

(Optional sources of beta-carotene include yams, spinach, turnip greens, winter squash, cantaloupe, and romaine lettuce.)

Step Three: Take a running leap from this launch site. Repeat until lift-off.

Step Four: Steering the C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack can be initially challenging. Try visualizing yourself flying above the clouds.

Step Five: In the unlikely chance the Jetpack malfunctions, follow the contingency plans in Step Six.

Step Six: Hand out baby carrots to passersby at this rendezvous point.

This act will signal to the Agency that the Jetpack requires additional testing. It is imperative that you wear the included head-mounted antennae.

Video - "Complimentary Carrots"

As a secondary signal, post an on-site photo of yourself to WooWork.com.

The Agency appreciates your loyal service, Agent Woo. You mission with the C.A.R.R.O.T. Jetpack will be challenging, but it is an assignment you deserve to complete.

Until then,

I'M OOW

Sat-Track Surveillance Watch with Remote Bug

The name is Woo. Howie Woo.


As a dashing international spy, I enjoy good martinis, good suits, and good gadgets. My newest spy gadget is codenamed The Sat-Track Surveillance Watch:


The Watch is accompanied by this Remote Bug:


Earlier, I had stealthily placed the magnetic Remote Bug onto my target:


My current mission is to track down this moving target, map its mysterious route, and retrieve its Cold War payload.

Would you like to see how the Sat-Track Surveillance Watch works? This information is classified, but I trust anyone on the internet.


The green button begins communication between the Watch and the Remote Bug. Tracking ON! Even the glare of the sun couldn't obscure my target now. The red button turns off the location tracking.


The Sat-Track Surveillance Watch is equipped with a mini-satellite, and rotating the dish casts a 360° sweep of the surrounding area. Target acquired!

Like my double-O colleagues, I like to travel in style. At a blistering 40mph, the Spy Scooter can take me anywhere my Watch leads. Here's a video:

The yellow dot on the Watch's screen shows my target's exact location, and the beeps get louder as I get closer.

Target found!

The Cold War ice cream truck eluded the spy agency all season, but I recovered the truck's top-secret payload before the end of summer. Just in time.

It's another mission accomplished, thanks to Agent Woo and the Sat-Track Surveillance Watch with Remote Bug!